WHY PEOPLE PISS US OFF (The Truth).
So, I’ve been reading this fab new book – YOU ARE A BAD ASS, by Jen Sincero. Who couldn’t love a book with a name like that? I’m a bad ass! Are you?
Anyway – In this book, she details a new concept that I was totally unaware of, and that has made me feel like a total sheep for feeling annoyed or grumpy with other people.
Tell me – when you feel annoyed by someone, it is because they’re doing something annoying, right? That person chewing their gum super loud, or telling everyone about their latest travels (for the 5th time), or that bossy dude bossing everyone around, or that chick who takes her top off at yoga. Ugh, SO annoying – and has totally NOTHING to do with me………
Apparently, when we’ve been getting upset with someone else’s behavior, it is because it reflects something within us.
Let me say that again; When we are annoyed at another person, it is because they’re mirroring something that we are insecure about/a behavior we ourselves might portray/something we may want etc. Isn’t that interesting?!
SO – for example – A few months ago, I attended a yoga class where one of the participants had her top off, so she was in a crop top and yoga pants. She wasn’t necessarily ‘trim and toned’ as society defines it, but there she was, totally rockin’ her crop top with a huge grin on her face, totally jamming to her yoga vibe. And there I was, in the corner, judging this brave self-confident woman. This woman, who didn’t give a shit (well, maybe she did) about what other people thought, was LOVING herself. And I passed judgment. My thoughts went a little something like this…
“Why do people not wear tops in yoga!?”
“Honestly it isn’t even that hot”
“What does she want to prove?”
“What does she want to show off?”
“Maybe the things people say about her are true”…
*Hides in cupboard*
Yeah, total bitch attack right there. I am aware of it. And at the time, I thought it was because I was genuinely annoyed that this chick was distracting me from my yoga practice my her non-top-wearing show going on. I went home and thought nothing of it any further.
However, after reading Jen’s book, I began to understand something.
The fact that chicky-boo wasn’t wearing a top didn’t annoy me.
What actually upset me, was that I didn’t have the confidence in myself to do what she was doing. And it was that hot in the class. And I really could have done without an extra layer. But my body conscious, slave to fear ego told me that there is no way in hell I should be doing that. So, instead of working on my self-confidence issues, I spat all over hers. I made myself feel better (in my mind) and blanked my own insecurities by ostracizing her.
Do you see what I’m getting at? When someone does or displays something that annoys us, more often than not, it is because it is reflecting something that is within us. The person that always talks about the cool thing they did that one time, or how many passport stamps they’ve got, or how many books they’ve read – are they annoying you because they are telling people? Or, are you annoyed because you perhaps want to do cool things to tell people about (but you don’t do them), or you want to travel the world 3x over (but you don’t), or you want time to read (but you don’t make time), and it is just far easier to put someone else down rather than take a cold hard look at your own reality?
Hmm… It really made me think.
And now, every time I find myself getting annoyed with someone, I ask myself what their behavior is reflecting in me.
You know what? I might damn well just wear a crop top to yoga if I so feel. Because now, instead of being offended because I didn’t feel good enough, I am inspired by this woman, and I am in love with her love for herself – something I am extremely passionate about. We all have good days and bad days, but at the core – our love for ourselves must come first. But that is a whole new post.
Peace out – in love & light always